The school year came to an end a few weeks ago. While I was happy to see it end, I was not so happy about my grades. I didn't do nearly as well as I would have liked. Two years ago, my youngest was a baby and I managed to run back and forth to school with the kids in tow and received an A and a B. This semester was, well I thought less hectic... Kids all in school and yet I receive my first ever college C and D! D! I am still screaming inside. I choked on both of my finals and they each weighed heavily on my final grade. I knew when the pencil went down it was not going to be pretty. I sat in the same room for both finals... back to back! No recovery time. It was a little much. I could sit around and beat myself up about it but it's done. I know that I need to put more time in to the work which means more personal sacrifice. I'm weary to think of what that personal sacrifice will be...
Loss.
I am a romantic. Many may automatically think of a relationship but I am a romantic in EVERY sense of the word. While very aware of reality, I flirt with idealism and fantasy. I have become accustom to certain occurrences in my life but have come to a place where I must now let them go. It is painful in a way but then that's the nature of loss, isn't it? I will become untrained, unaccustomed and the pain will dissipate. I pray only that the romance is not totally loss in the process.
4 comments:
ohhhh no... Well, you know what this means right?!?!?
Pick up and move double time for the next round. I'm proud of you!
Let me know if you ever need help. I can come over with J and keep the kids occupied.
"I just love reading your stuff...you have a way with words. Sorry about the rough school semester. Its a bummer, especially when you feel you gave a A+ effort and the grade doesnt reflect it :(
Take care hun"
"When you feel like giving up, push a little harder, and pray more. Next semester is going to show your efforts! Med school is around the corner!"
(((hugs))) I hope you can maintain the romance too. No matter what happens, we need to have that space in our mind and heart where the ideal lives. Life makes it so that the ideal is not immediately attainable always but to let go of the ideal (romance) altogether is to settle for mediocrity. So as excellent minded people, it's not an option!! As such, disappointment simply makes it very clear where the deficiency is, if we choose to learn the lesson. You learned and are learning. The sacrifice will be well worth it, I know, Dr. Battice. Much love. You are always in my thoughts.
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